DAVE / DRUMS

 The Oldest Professions

Soldier…Lady of Dubious Virtue…Drummer…
When Mr. Caveman left the sanctuary of his darkened home he had only one thing on his mind. It wasn’t rumpy pumpy,(he’d just had that with Mrs. Caveman).
It wasn’t going out for a fight, (Mrs. Caveman again)…He only wanted TO HIT THINGS!!

The first drummers guide to The Universe. Imagine the moment of Creation. A single speck
of light growing exponentially in a never ending abyss of eternal darkness until it finally implodes and dies…

Q. How do you restart the birth of The Universe?
A. HIT IT WITH SOMETHING!!

Anyway, back to the story…
Mr. Caveman, for practical reasons we can call Him Dave, went out, slayed some Barg Hanthers And used their skulls as slippers.

One night he got lashed, kicked said footwear Off and fell over. While trying to get up he beat On them in a most strange and unheard of way.*
After many hours of repetition he finally managed to stand up.**
And so began the history of modern percussion.
B.C. Before Cymbals…
Wibble wobble Wibble wobble, Fast forward eleven teen million years…
It’s Christmas. A small boy looks longingly, at an empty tin of biscuits. The last custard cream has just been eaten by the cat. We can call him Dave.
(The lad, not the cat…come on, keep up!)

Faced with the tormential weight of eons on his shoulders, and past history catching up with him,
Dave inverts the biscuit tin, places the shiny lid to one side ***   and takes hold of the cat…
So are Drumming Legends born…
And if in doubt…HIT IT!!!!!

*5/4 time          **4/4 time          ***A.D. After Dave